Stimulation

We all need some.

Its good to do personal work

Every so-often, when the daily grind catches up with you, you realize that by the end of the day, when you close the door behind you, you’re exhausted and altogether spent. But if, and when you have a reason to pick up the camera, or carry it with you wherever you go, be it a toy camera, pin-hole camera or a pro-body DSLR… the excitement of actually having the possibility to create something, even if it is an interpretation of the day-in and day-out mundane, menial life that you lead, leads to something else altogether. Its a no brainer. Its good to indulge in personal work. Go with the flow, work those brain juices and think of something. Yes, the above is me actually thinking aloud.

Think about different ways to articulate yourself. Photography is merely one of a gazillion methods to work those brain juices.

 

As Marshall McLuhan says “The medium is the message”.

BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING - A security guard mans a metal detector in central Bangkok. (THAILAND)

BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING - A close circuit security camera hangs from the ceiling as commuters pass underneath in downtown Singapore (SINGAPORE)

BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING - A close circuit security camera hangs high above an exterior entrance of a shopping mall in Singapore (SINGAPORE)

BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING - Close circuit security cameras point in different directions in the central business district of Singapore (SINGAPORE)

Taking the plunge

Brooklyn Bridge circa 2009. (double exposure on the Diana F)

“Taking the plunge.” Or not. Im am sitting comfortable in a dark room with my ipod plugged in, laptop fired up, going through pictures taken months ago, years back. Photography for me is a boon and a bane all at a go. I deal with pictures day in and day out daily at work. And yet lately, that is all I do. Inspiration to go out, create, make something to call mine dissipates with my energy as everyday come to an end. 24 hours. So much I can do… yet everytime, I put it off, content to observe life, humanity, wars, conflicts through an editor’s eye. The scope of how beautiful and ugly life turns out span both extremes of the spectrum. At the end of the day, I choose to close my eyes and forget it all. Such is the sanitization to death, destruction and the senseless I face daily at work. I choose to be content in my comfort zone, in hiding behind technology and not getting to know the other person face to face. Content knowing just a little more than the average human being would care to know, hoarding knowledge, smug in my know how. But really, do I know how? How to break out of a rut, to lay aside feelings, problems in your personal life… to rise above? To do good work, to strive for excellence, no matter at the cost of family, friends, relationships… and comfort.

Comfort. I am comfortable yet I am restless. The restlessness had been a steady companion ever since young. “Capable of so much more, but easily distracted” are the words on my annual report card from school. “Restless and fidgety” from another year. “Disregard for system and authority”, a little later on from an exasperated form teacher. “Smart, but he lacks focus”. The entries were never more than 3 sentences long, with every year more of the same old. An aunt of mine bumped into my former principal, who then enquired about me (I was surprised she even remembered me). I’ll have her know that this kid, is very much the same old restless me.

What to do with that restlessness? How to channel it into something more? Your guess is as good as mine. But right now, I have to deal with the incredible backlog of pictures shot that have never seen the light of day. They are sitting there in the cold dark digital abyss. Thats me, shooting and moving on. Forever getting onto the next best thing, the next easy distraction. I miss wanderlust. I miss missing the wanderlust. Something is wrong if I don’t crave it anymore. Save for my folks, I don’t have a particularly good reason left for me here. I need another distraction. I need a cure for the itch.

Take a plunge? Maybe someday I will. Maybe someday starts today. We’ll see.

Everybody say – “Singfest 2010″

Hamish Rosser of The Vines drums onstage at Singfest in Singapore August 5, 2010.

Jared Leto of 30 Seconds to Mars performs onstage during Singfest in Singapore August 5, 2010.

Craig Nicholls of The Vines performs during Singfest  in Singapore August 5, 2010.

Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins performs at Singfest music festival in Singapore August 5, 2010.

Fans dance onstage during the set of 30 Seconds to Mars at Singfest music festival in Singapore August 5, 2010.

Fans take a break in between sets at Singfest music festival in Singapore August 5, 2010.

Fans take a break in between sets at Singfest music festival in Singapore August 5, 2010.

Full picture set of Singfest 2010 here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/thepicturestory/sets/72157624578969903/

Party Poppers

Seems like these days more and more, I shoot nothing except the occasional wedding, more personal work and parties. Lots of parties. The recently refurbished 5D is a lighter companion and so much handier with a 50mm than the cumbersome 1Dii. While focusing in low light is a pain, everything else is just peachy. I tend to bring this and a 16-35mm wherever I go. Especially if there are opportunities to make some decent pictures.

So I recently attended a farewell bash for a friend, Keisha William. Originally from Trinidad and Tobago, Keisha was based in Singapore for the last 3 years working for an investment bank. Now as her stint draws to an end, she will be uprooting to New York City, where she will resume work for the same company, albeit in a different role.

As of all parties, music, booze, fags and silly games were the order for the night, and I found the chance to make some rather fun and impromptu portraits of different personalities. For friends, and friends of friends. Rather interesting to observe people from different backgrounds gathered together to bid a fond farewell to a friend. Farewell Keisha, till we meet again. Never say never.

Now playing – Jay Z and Alicia Key’s “Empire state of Mind”.

Full picture set here:  http://www.flickr.com/photos/thepicturestory/sets/72157624735559650/

White Rabbit

White Rabbit is the name of a place at Dempsey road. I knew all but one person at the gathering for Karen’s bridal shower, who was due to be married the day after. Last few hours of freedom, as they say. The deal was that I show up, make a few pictures. And eat. On the house. Well, actually it was on my friend, Melissa. Pretty good deal, if I may add.

Picture set here > http://www.flickr.com/photos/thepicturestory/sets/72157624200589761/

Good place for a get-together, especially in a large group. With a nifty website to boot. See yall at the White Rabbit!

http://www.thewhiterabbit.com.sg/

Knock knock (who’s there?)

“Metaphorically speaking, you’ve missed the boat. Quite possibly the tide too, I’m afraid to add, a few times over.”

We walk on by.

Red is the colour of….

And lovin’ it

Blind busker performs at the underpass linking Orchard MRT station to Tangs shopping centre during rush hour in Singapore.

This guy has been at the same spot performing his heart out ever since I was still a punk-ass kid in school. He was there through graduation, through my first job. Through this day. Somethings are rock solid and never change.

When life throws you a curveball, or two, or three – You sing in its face and make merry; in spite of it, despite of it, to spite it. Just gotta roll with it.

Personals

Trawling through my archives, I came across plenty of frames I’ve made in the early days of my mother’s fight against Ovarian Cancer. Fast forward a few months, and everything has changed. The changes, some subtle, some like a force 10 gale surprised even myself. Perhaps it is when you are immersed in the actual experience, you lose all sense of time, and its effects on yourself and the people around you.

So much has changed.

A perfect example of how visual documentation is necessary, important even. For self-preservation. For the good, bad and ugly. People are amused at how I carry the camera everywhere I go. What I fail, or not try to articulate, most of the times, is that, the camera has already become an extension of me. My third eye if you will. Also subconsciously, it gives me the perfect alibi to make pictures, at the same time it shields me from realizing the extent of my own feelings. In the process, it makes everything a little more bearable.

In the end, it doesn’t really matter. When I lie alone in the darkness, in the empty apartment, it is not the pictures that I think of… In the end, are memories come back to haunt me. A hundred-and-one thousands of “WHAT IFs”. A painful process. But necessary.

I want to remember.

A self-portrait taken with Dad while Mom looks at us, while staying with relatives after her discharge from hospital. A 14-cm tumor was removed from Mom’s womb in a surgery that overshot by more than 6 hours when mom complained of bloating in her stomach some months ago. She is back at the hospital every weekly for labs and chemotherapy treatment to treat her ovarian cancer. Some common side-effects of chemotherapy includes loss of appetite, depression, hair loss and soreness of the body. While not in-between treatments, both Mom and Dad stay with relatives, with everybody chipping in to help.