Stimulation

We all need some.

Its good to do personal work

Every so-often, when the daily grind catches up with you, you realize that by the end of the day, when you close the door behind you, you’re exhausted and altogether spent. But if, and when you have a reason to pick up the camera, or carry it with you wherever you go, be it a toy camera, pin-hole camera or a pro-body DSLR… the excitement of actually having the possibility to create something, even if it is an interpretation of the day-in and day-out mundane, menial life that you lead, leads to something else altogether. Its a no brainer. Its good to indulge in personal work. Go with the flow, work those brain juices and think of something. Yes, the above is me actually thinking aloud.

Think about different ways to articulate yourself. Photography is merely one of a gazillion methods to work those brain juices.

 

As Marshall McLuhan says “The medium is the message”.

BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING - A security guard mans a metal detector in central Bangkok. (THAILAND)

BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING - A close circuit security camera hangs from the ceiling as commuters pass underneath in downtown Singapore (SINGAPORE)

BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING - A close circuit security camera hangs high above an exterior entrance of a shopping mall in Singapore (SINGAPORE)

BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING - Close circuit security cameras point in different directions in the central business district of Singapore (SINGAPORE)

Taking the plunge

Brooklyn Bridge circa 2009. (double exposure on the Diana F)

“Taking the plunge.” Or not. Im am sitting comfortable in a dark room with my ipod plugged in, laptop fired up, going through pictures taken months ago, years back. Photography for me is a boon and a bane all at a go. I deal with pictures day in and day out daily at work. And yet lately, that is all I do. Inspiration to go out, create, make something to call mine dissipates with my energy as everyday come to an end. 24 hours. So much I can do… yet everytime, I put it off, content to observe life, humanity, wars, conflicts through an editor’s eye. The scope of how beautiful and ugly life turns out span both extremes of the spectrum. At the end of the day, I choose to close my eyes and forget it all. Such is the sanitization to death, destruction and the senseless I face daily at work. I choose to be content in my comfort zone, in hiding behind technology and not getting to know the other person face to face. Content knowing just a little more than the average human being would care to know, hoarding knowledge, smug in my know how. But really, do I know how? How to break out of a rut, to lay aside feelings, problems in your personal life… to rise above? To do good work, to strive for excellence, no matter at the cost of family, friends, relationships… and comfort.

Comfort. I am comfortable yet I am restless. The restlessness had been a steady companion ever since young. “Capable of so much more, but easily distracted” are the words on my annual report card from school. “Restless and fidgety” from another year. “Disregard for system and authority”, a little later on from an exasperated form teacher. “Smart, but he lacks focus”. The entries were never more than 3 sentences long, with every year more of the same old. An aunt of mine bumped into my former principal, who then enquired about me (I was surprised she even remembered me). I’ll have her know that this kid, is very much the same old restless me.

What to do with that restlessness? How to channel it into something more? Your guess is as good as mine. But right now, I have to deal with the incredible backlog of pictures shot that have never seen the light of day. They are sitting there in the cold dark digital abyss. Thats me, shooting and moving on. Forever getting onto the next best thing, the next easy distraction. I miss wanderlust. I miss missing the wanderlust. Something is wrong if I don’t crave it anymore. Save for my folks, I don’t have a particularly good reason left for me here. I need another distraction. I need a cure for the itch.

Take a plunge? Maybe someday I will. Maybe someday starts today. We’ll see.